Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Saza de, Sila de, bana de, Mita de

Unexpected twists and turns...You get what you want when you least expect it..and never when you do...

Expectations..that is the root of all bloody problems..Buddha had it right when he said that desire is the root cause of the world's miseries..stop wanting..and all ills go..

is it possible to stop wanting... however much i rein in this man..
man to udta rahta hai

anjaani aas ke peechhe, anjaani pyaas ke peechhe...
man daudta rahata hai

kai baar yun bhi dekha hai,
ye jo man ki seema rekha hai......

Hmm... no limit lines can stop this boundless stretch of fantasy...
Can I?????

Hamko maloom hai jannat ki haqeeqat lekin,
dil ke khush rakhne ko Ghalib ye khayal achchha hai.....

Dream on, buddy.......
No STOP!!!!!!!!

Pandora did make her mistakes..and we yet thank her for Hope :)

Kahte hain ki mil jaati hai...
har cheez dua se,
ik roz tujhe maang ke,
dekhenge khuda se.........

and yet,

umr jalwon me basar ho,
ye zaroori to nahi,
teri duaon ka asar ho,
ye zaroori to nahi.....

Yes God, are you still there?
I need my miracle..yup...I know..another one..again!!!!!

Jhoothi Sachchi aas pe jeena,
Kab tak aakhir, aakhir kab tak,
mai ki jagah khooone dil peena
kab tak aakhir, aakhir kab tak..

Socha hai ab paar utrenge,
ya takra kar doon marenge,
toofanon ke zad par sakeena,
kab tak aakhir, aakhi kab tak......

ek mahine ke waade par,
saal guzaara, phir bhi na aaye,
waade ka wo ek mahina,
kab tak aakhir, aakhir kab tak........

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Culture and Chaos

Maybe yes, this entire idea of incorporating culture into one's comprehension is a bit too ambitious..But I do know that to define oneself, and be an individual, without the backbone and support culture is impossible. What parameters do we have left then to define and measure against?
Yet, this is just another mindless detour. What I want to know is that how do we assimilate culture into our work and mindset as architects? Architecture is all-encompassing- total and holistic, and is..maybe..a subset of culture? So I have to fully understand culture before appreciating its architectural implications and vice-versa. Architecture and Culture as totally enmeshed...each influencing the other and being moulded and morphed by it??

And can something that is a subset of the larger comprehend the larger..Isn't it always the bigger picture looking down...maybe a bottoms-up approach is required..

Yet here I am, trying to understand Indian culture from the American perspective..and the American from the Indian........

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Marvin is the clearest thinker I know! Yes, that is exactly the state of my mind right now. Feeling lower than a snake's underbelly :(

Oh God... (oh no, I am not even talking to him these days..he better sit up and take notice)

Wretched and bloooooooody miserable (though the adjective could be half the reason for being so low)... Life doesn't get more screwed!!
Oh I know it does, just feel like wallowing in my own morass of self-pity, as if it mattered...

Yup, I know, its all my fault.. I accept the BLAME!!!!
Only now I will have to do something about it!!!!!!

Nowhere to run... can't I just hide or something....

No place to go... trapped!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


This eternal evaluation of it good now? Was it good back then? My forever dissatisfaction with the now...
Crying and carping, is that it? Where is the acceptance? The contentment?
Always, always, just that little bit more and I shall be happy....

Hazaron khwaishein aisi,
ki har khwaish pe dam nikle...
bahut nikle mere armaan,
magar phir bhi kam nikle........

Is that the story of life...

Saturday, November 05, 2005

A reason for living

What is it that is our justification for living... or do we even need to question our ontological definitions??????
By being something, somebody? By being somebody's???
Do we really need to do so or is our being here reason enough?

Friday, November 04, 2005

A new Beginning?????

Is this a reflection of loneliness? Is that what blogging actually shows without showing?
Yes, I know there is nobody around to talk to..hence I blog...

The ultimate refuge of loneliness, the alternative life, maybe better, maybe not..but here I am, ruminating to the Net cos I do not have anyone else...

Something new for me here...
a place to rant, to scream, to shout that ITS NOT FAIR...
to abuse God, and to know that he doesn't hear...
of unseen dreams, of unsaid prayer......


Thursday, November 03, 2005

First post