This is what comes of staying awake all night, reading other people's blogs and pilfering their ideas. This post is a result of this post.
For it got me thinking. Not just that Indian men expect their wives to be virgins. Just that the whole world does too.
Actually, for most men and women in any normal middle-class Indian family, there is no other way of thinking. The-alternative-does-not-exist.
Yes, some of us might not agree, saying that India has progressed, its not so in the big cities, etc. etc.
Well, sure. Maybe not. But that is how it is in the tens of thousands of towns and cities and mindsets. Its such a blanket mindset that I cannot even begin to explain how ubiquitous it is.
And this promulgates such that most men/women in/on the marriage market(that is how we do it in India) take this mostly as a given. If even a whiff of the fact that the girl ever had a boyfriend/ was seeing someone/ talked to guys (ok, slight exaggeration here ;)) fell into the prospective groom's family's ears, the match was doomed. No one but a pristine bride for our son, thank you very much!!
Its such an integral part of our culture (?). Indian girls do not drink, sleep with/touch men, have opinions or other such bad habits. Oh God, who will marry them otherwise?
Yikes, why did I start on this? The diatribe shall not end once I get started.
I have opinions on this. And other bad habits as well.
:)
4 comments:
that wouldnt be fair to indian men : ) Picture this, a billion plus, mostly struggling to eke out a living, centuries of plunder, corrupted morals, and everyone trying to get ahead..
The unfortunate part in all of it, is that the animal instinct prevails and the male idea wins - just on brute strength. Not my place to say right or wrong, just a place in time where the tables are not balanced.
It is getting better, and id hate it if my wife wasnt lived in : ) Not to say im looking for a worn out mit : ) ha ha ! But you get the picture : )
Cheers
Dhruv
that wouldnt be fair to indian men : ) Picture this, a billion plus, mostly struggling to eke out a living, centuries of plunder, corrupted morals, and everyone trying to get ahead..
The unfortunate part in all of it, is that the animal instinct prevails and the male idea wins - just on brute strength. Not my place to say right or wrong, just a place in time where the tables are not balanced.
It is getting better, and id hate it if my wife wasnt lived in : ) Not to say im looking for a worn out mit : ) ha ha ! But you get the picture : )
Cheers
Dhruv
Innocence is a prized commodity...not just in india, but the world over. What people are looking for is not a virgin bride, but someone who has innocence. Indian people don't care much about intellegence- smart women are dime a dozen but innocence in a woman is a rarity.
You will find a lot of Indian men have the innocence in them, that they are looking for in a partner out of their partner also. (Watch the movie: Main, Meri Patni Aur Woh). Of course a lot of other indian men are given to indescretions, and don't deserve the kind of virgin bride they want.
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