The Ends don't Justify the Medium

What puts me off most when I read people's blogs?
Strange as it seems, not the opinions. I do think that each of us has the right to have- and air-their own opinions. What really irritates me- and often, leads me to stop reading mid-sentence- are things that I find inexcusable in any form of writing. Grammatical errors/ typos, and the use of sms-ese. Rite?

As I said above, I respect your opinions. But the means used to express the opinion also needs to to be respected. The language is often mutilated beyond recognition. Sms-ese is not English, by any stretch of the imagination. Even more so when you are using it in a public forum. We already know that you don't know English, you really do not have to prove it to the world as well!

Even more cringe worthy is bad grammar. And the worst of the lot are spelling mistakes. I mean, if you are using sms-ese and you know it, fine, but if you are using proper English and then making horrendous errors, it is a lot worse. If you don't know English, please use grammar check in MS Word. And then Spell-Check in MS Word. That will make life easier for all of us.

Very often, I chance on some random blog and start reading, only to find that the language is stilted, not flowing correctly, or just plain wrong! I can not begin to describe my irritation when I think of the multitude of blogs that manage to attain the above distinction. Then I wonder, if something is truly better than nothing? A little knowledge (in this case, of the English Language) is truly a dangerous thing.

What makes it worse? That these semi-literate people go on happily writing, leaving the rest of us utterly frustrated. For two reasons: one, we have to read such stuff and feel sorry for the English language, its users and its readers. Secondly, the sheer blindness of fools.

Just because it is a blog does not mean that the medium of expression can be compromised. It does not make the rules any less stringent. I use Hindi all the time in my writing, but that does not mean I make any grammar errors in my English.

Language is a tool to be used- used for crafting paragraphs, poetry and prose. Language is a medium of communication. Language is a means of expression. Please, use this medium with the respect it deserves. Just because you know it does not allow you to use it incautiously (or even because you do not know it, as can be seen). The end- in this case, self-expression- does not justify misusing the means.

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Friday Tag

Since I want to write and don't know what to write, am doing a tag by my friend.

The tag goes.. "If I were..."

• If I were a month: I would be August. Because it is unpredictable, sometimes hot and sultry, sometimes pouring with rain, thunder and lightning, carrying both the lingering heat of summer and the promise of a coming winter.
• If I were a day of the week: I would be Saturday. When half the weekend and its joys are gone, and when responsibilty comes knocking back. Yet, knowing that Sunday is yet to come. Tinged with sadness, yet full of happiness of the present.
• If I were a time of day: I would be night. Calm, quiet, contained. Contented in itself.
• If I were a season: I'd be the monsoons in India. Waited for desperately to take away the heat, they come all noise and flashing light, awe-inspiring, flamboyant, loud.
• If I were a planet: I would be Venus. Woman all through!
• If I were a direction: I would be North.
• If I were a piece of furniture: I would be a cosy one-seater sofa. On which one can curl up and read a book.
• If I were a liquid: I would be Tea. My elixir of life. My caffeine fix. Aromatic. Deep.
• If I were a tree: Eucalyptus. Because there were a lot of these where I was growing up. And I love the smell.
• If I were a tool: I would be a hammer. Blunt, driving the point home without finesse. No diplomacy- that's me!
• If I were a flower: Chrysanthemum. Showy, decorative, big and pretty :)
• If I were an element: I'd be Mercury. Sometimes liquid, sometimes solid. Quicksilver!
• If I were a gemstone: I would be Pearls. Born of oysters. In all colors from black to pink to white. Artificial or real. Round and pretty.
• If I were a kind of weather: Rainy and/or cloudy. Sometimes wistful and tremulous, sometimes dark and threatening.
• If I were a musical instrument: I would be the flute. Because that is how I want to be: tall and thin and beautiful.
• If I were a color: Red. Rich, flamboyant, vibrant, alive, sultry.
• If I were an emotion: Anger. Can never control it and it takes me over. I only wish I had better control over my anger!
• If I were a fruit: Red Grapes- round, plump and ripe. Asking to be bit into to release their juices ;)
• If I were a sound: I'd be a car horn: impatient, irritated and a little angry.
• If I were a car: I would be the red Prius Hybrid. Environmentally conscious, innovative shape and form, sleek and beautiful.
• If I were a material: I'd be a woven shawl. Warm and comfortable.
• If I were a food: I would be coffee ice-cream. The perfect blend of bitter and sweet. And melting in warmth.
• If I were a taste: I'd be sweet. I am sweet.
• If I were a scent: I'd be citrus. Lemony, tangy and fresh!
• If I were an object: I would be a mink blanket- warm, supersoft and luxurious, but sometimes smothering and suffocating.
• If I were a song: I'd be "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara". I have friends from all communities, regions, states and religions of India. And I strongly believe that real people and real friendships transcend petty boundaries of divisiveness.
• If I were a body part: I'd be the eyes- wherein you can see the depths of your soul.
• If I were a place: I would be India. Torn, conflictiong, ravaged, and yet rising despite all odds.
• If I were a facial expression: I would be the look that goes with "Paying attention". Listening. Because that is what I am for all my friends. A person to talk to.
• If I were a pair of shoes: I'd be Mary Janes. Demure and young, budding with promise. And then add some heels- they become hot and attractive.

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And mine is...

A few days ago, I thought I would right a short piece on all the five sins: Kaama, Krodh, Lobh, Moha, Ahankaar. In that order. But being the capricious person that I am, I decided that I only wanted to write about mine. Yes, the one in the above list over which I have very little (make that minuscule) control: Krodh.
That's true: Anger is my greatest enemy. My downfall.

It has been said that of all the sins, anger is the only one that hurts the doer more than the receiver. Its true. Anger can burn you make you unhappy keep you smoldering resentful fuming-and exploding, but still- you are the epicenter of the explosion. You are the one who holds all that negativity and pain inside you which is regurgitated as anger.

Yes, I get angry very easily. And when I get angry, I get really angry. I scream and shout and cry- all at the same time. I hurt. And most of all, I hurt myself.
For as soon as it comes, it goes away. After a bout of screaming and shouting, I'm fine. And then I really regret my words. But as some wise person said "Words are like arrows shot from a bow. Once they leave, they can never be recalled"

Anger is really the most destructive emotion. Not because it hurts the person you are angry at; it destroys you.
I was reading CBD a few days ago. And in her book, she talks about how Draupadi held on to her anger for thirteen long years. How this single woman's anger brought about the Mahabharata. How she never let go of her anger, how she used it as a weapon. CBD then narrates the following scenario between Krishna and Draupadi :

"Krishna visits the Pandavas at their forest dwelling. Draupadi is cooking for him, when he suddenly pulls out a smoldering wooden log from the choolha and thrusts it at Draupadi. She lunges back, and then asks him, what is this?
He replies- this is what anger is. The fire smoldering inside this log. It smolders inside you and reduces you to nothing. "
(The Palace of Illusions, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni)

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The Five Sins

Remember class 8th? When we had to ratto a lot of Hindi grammar. One integral part of this was learning Hindi muhawaras, or sayings. Then we also had things which came in sets of three, four or five, stuff that came out of our ancient literature. I don't remember much, though there were the Three Doshas (Kafa, Vaata, Pitta); the five senses; the triumvirate of Gods, and, the set I want to talk about, the Five Sins. These were Kaama, Krodh, Lobh, Moha, Ahankaar. And at that time in my life, I did not understand, I did not know how these were THE five sins.

Now, I know. I get how these are the definitive sins not because these are just evil or bad, but because these are the most difficult to overcome. These come from within, self-generated thoughts and feelings and emotions. Which consume you.
Yes, these are the sins because to overcome these you have to control the self. These are not committed against you- these are you. Manifestations of your darker side. That erupt and explode and devour you, leave no place for rational thought and burn, burn you through!

So, in a way, I am starting a mini-series on this blog. Where each post will talk about one of these sins. I know which one of these is my besetting sin, the one that I can never control. That takes me over and turns me in to my Mr. Hyde.

What's yours?

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Chahida Chahida Chahida Mainu!

For those who don't know Punjabi, the title is translated as "I want, want, WANT!!!"
That is what I have been thinking these days- how our wants are usually endless. First its one thing, then the next and the next. I want all the time!
Of course, one can argue that this is a good thing, wanting keeps us on our toes and makes us competitive. Yet, I don't like it if this perpetual wanting takes away my sense of peace and inner contentment. The latter is what is most important to me- though of course, I want and want :)

What I really do not like is when we do not differentiate "want" from "need". Of course, we all want. We never have everything we want "..har kisi ko mukammal jahaan nahin milta..kabhi zameen to kabhi aasmaan nahin milta..."
But some people obsess so much about their wants that it overshadows the good in their lives. And keep cribbing incessnatly (I've been guilty of this a LOT!). Though lately, I have tried to stop cribbing and be happy for my blessings. So this makes me even more irritated with people who are always whining or cribbing about something or the other.

On a separate but related note, I also think that the more materialustic (the spelling is intentional) a society, the more we have no internal system of balances to keep wanting in check. Though "thou shall not covet" and be envious, it is almost impossible not to. Even in India, consumption is the new rage. More, better, faster, bigger, smaller, blingier. Mine!

Here's this awesome song that captures this so well:

A B C D Chaida Mainu
wo DVD Chaida Mainu
CTV bhi Chaida Mainu
LCD Bhi Chaida Mainu

Laal Mercedes Chaidi Mainu
Laal Kila Bhi Chaida Mainu
Haa Haa Chaida Ho Ho Chaida

Mainu Chaida Chaida Chaida
Chaida Chaida Chaida
Chaida Chaida Chaida
Chaida Chaida Chaida

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Self-Help Junkie

I discovered Self-Help books after coming to the US, since I did not know much about them back home. And now I am a dedicated follower. Of course, there are self-help books on/for everything: how to find a date/man; how to give a great blow-job; how to save your marriage; how to raise great kids; how to get a job; how to be a writer; how to be happy; how to be positive; how to cook; how to lose weight; how to learn karate; how to live... you name it, and there is a self-help book for it!

And I am a sucker for them all! Self-help books are my go-to for all my problems. You'll find them everywhere around me- on my bedstand, my bookshelf, my Kindle! Because I like to think that there is a solution that I can find in these pages. And then once I apply it, everything will be a happily ever after. These books give me hope- that I can make myself and my life better. Even though I barely apply much of the advice. Yet, I still love reading them!




Image source:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/joepublic/2009/feb/27/self-help-books-blog

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Perennial Grocery List

I am an anal Grocery lister. I make grocery lists ALL the time.
And then make their back-ups. I used to get so upset if/when I lost my first list, that now I make sure every list I make has a back-up copy as well (Yeah, I know I'm anal!).

In fact, sometimes I feel I'm always making some sort of grocery/ to-do/ to buy list. And I usually am, in my head. In class, if I'm getting bored, my mind goes... tomato, pyaaz, aalu, dahi, milk, eggs and bread! Or If I'm giving a party, I plan my actions in the minutest detail... boil chickpeas, cut gobhi, make sabzi, then curry, then lay the table, take out the glasses.... I plan out the order like a major king would make a battle plan.

So I can never shop without a list. I feel rudderless, as if my moorings are lost. I feel handicapped without my lists. Sometimes I get tired of this incessant list making in my mind, and I want it to stop. But the only way I can stop my mind's list is to write it down... and on and on it goes. I have to go to school early tomorrow- and my mind is already laying out the steps, right up to catching the 8:33 AM train!

Its tiring and irritating, and yet I'm not alone. There are other people like me!

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Of shoes and shawls

Is there this one thing that you can never have enough of? That is your one weakness every time you go into some shop/mall? Clothes? Skirts? Jewellery? Handbags? Shoes???
Yes, that's mine. SHOES!! I love shoes..and no matter how many I have, I never have enough. Or never have the right ones for the right occasion. I have to go and look at shoes whichever mall I go to, whichever shop I go to. Though I am so finicky about the kind of shoes I like/want, that I end of not buying most of the time. Something is always wrong- too high, too low, too narrow, too pointed, too tight, too loose, too ugly...
It takes a lot to find the perfect shoe. And believe me, I'm always looking. I often spend hours and hours on department store websites, just looking and looking. Of course, most (like Neiman Marcus) are ones I can not afford. But can always look :)

My Mom has this simialr obsession with shawls..she can never have enough. She's always buying shawls...so she has this amazing collection, encompassing all colors of the world. Like autumn colors woven with sunlight. Like mustard and white flowers. Like tapestries. She buys most of her shawls from Bhuttico, which makes some of the best shawls in the world.
She has some of the most wondrous weaves, so soft they feel like a gentle sun on your shoulders... yes, I have also inherited her love of shawls. And even better, have inherited some of the shawls too :)
Whenever she buys some shawls for herself, she usually gets an odd one for me too! And so I too have fallen under this spell of shawls. I love wearing them, warm and gentle and comfortingly wrapped around. Trailing softly and gracefully.

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My latest addiction

I don't know if I have ever mentioned it before on this blog, but books are my lifeline. I just cannot live without reading. If I go too long without books, I feel as if something is missing in my life. My whole being craves books. And yes, its almost always fiction. I started reading when I was in grade 2- with the usual Enid Blytons, and Archie's comics.
Nowadays, I devour anything- from trashy romances to self-help to Booker winners- its all irresistible to me. I have often spent all night continuously reading and not being able to put down the book, only to miss school, college, work the next day. Its my greatest addiction.


I starkly remember the first time that I spent all night reading- it was Midnight's Children. I read the whole book non-stop, in a single reading. It took me about 16 straight hours. And of course, I missed school the next day. The next book that I could not stop in between was Lord of the Rings (the entire series). The book is simply amazing. Then came Harry Potter! And quite recently, the complete Princess Diaries series (as the pattern clearly shows, I've been regressing :)

These days, I am hooked onto Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. I have read some of her books earlier, and quite liked them. But I recently found almost all of her works in the local library, and got them all to read. And got hooked. She has to be one of the best writers I have come across in a long time (and given my reading history, that is saying something).

The was she describes emotions, pain, life.... with her words, its as if she puts her hand deep into your guts and wrenches them out. It is raw, visceral pain. She makes my soul ache. Her books are mesmerizing, incredible in the way they capture everyday human pain, and desire and complex emotions.

She leaves me with a profound sense of sorrow, of pain... of unhappiness. And yet, some strange sense of fulfillment. Reading her books is like going through an emotional roller coaster. Still, I wouldn't miss the ride for anything!

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Some Morning Thoughts

Just read
1. http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2010/01/24/dheeyaan-dee-maa-rani-bhudhaapey-bharey-paani/
2. http://doctorofphilosphy.blogspot.com/2010/01/indian-women.html

Now I'm going to be depressed the whole day!

What makes it worse is that this attitude pervades and permeates the pores of our country. It is like talking and breathing, it is everywhere, is is normal. It is all right to think like this. Its perfectly legitimate to want sons. People don't even stop to consider that this is something that could possibly ever be questioned.

This happened to me yesterday night. I was talking to Mom, and she was, as usual, bemoaning the fact that I don't have kids (read son). The latest in a series of ideas about how to have children is to keep a mannat. That is basically saying to God that I would do such-and-such if you give me so-and-so.

Like a true negotiator, she gave me a real world example (real people I know)
"There was this woman in our colony, who had three daughters. She kept this mannat that she would go to the temple every day for 40 days, and do jhadu-poccha there. For 40 days non-stop... ab to uska beta jawaan ho gaya hai"

Do you want me to list everything that is wrong in the above statement? It might take another 2-3 hours. I felt immensely sorry for this poor woman, who must have been hounded to death by our society for producing 3 daughters. And the only way she could get respect and any worth whatsoever was to beget a son.
But my Mom only saw her as a winner- a winner who worked hard to get that most coveted of prizes, a son.
Anyway, the point is that when narrating this story, my Mom did not even think that this was offensive, wrong or anything. For her, this only demonstrated that God can fulfill all wishes, and give you a son.

My Dad (who's the most enlightened person in the whole world) actually gave me a real world reason to have a son. When I was arguing with my parents, why son?, he said something prosaic, practical and a Parthian shot:

"Sasuraal mein reputation ban jaati hai"

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Cultural Stereotyping: Tale of 2 States

I just finished 2 States, Chetan Bhagat's latest. He tells the 'love' story of a Punjabi guy and a Tamil girl, who want to get married but have to bridge the North-South divide. Though I am a cultural snob and think that his writing is pedestrian at best, I still could not put the book down. No matter how cliched everything is, it still touches you. And makes you laugh. I was laughing out loud ALL THE TIME- and you know why? Because he gets it. He takes all the possible cultural stereotypes, which you already know, and hate (or like) and still makes it sound interesting. He makes fun of everything, be it the Punjus or the Tambis.

Secondly, I could truly relate to the story. I married a 'Madrasi' too- a Telugu guy, not exactly Madrasi, but you know, they're all the same ;)
But yes, there were distinct correlations between my story and the book. It's never easy to bridge the North-South divide. It took time and patience- and I have to admit, my husband did everything. He took the time and patience, I just stood around screaming and making things worse.

I loved all the stereotypes in the book. He puts it all so well and in such a funny way. From eating, talking, dancing, living... oh everything! Its actually almost incomprehensible that these vastly different cultures belong to one country. One line of his captured the complete essential difference in the cultures:

"Marble floors are to Punjabis what U.S. degrees are to Tamilians".
(as in, both can induce mini-orgasms in the respective cultural psyche).

One of the most insightful cultural differences is about how to cut vegetables. I have had huge and often vituperous debates with my friends about this. This is so basic, so innate and so banal, yet so true. Punjabis cut vegetables using their thumb as a base. That's how I cut vegetables, and that's how everybody in my world has always done it. When my world expanded (came to the US, met people from different cultures) I got to know that this was not the only way to do it. Of course, I still do it as I am very used to this and so very very fast using this way- its more efficient and works for me. So this has been an issue with me- after all, I almost alienated a friend by telling him that my way was right!

So when Bhagat actually talks about this, I was beyond impressed. I mean, he knew this small cutural artefact and that this is different in different cultures. It is such perfect attention to detail. And he's a guy- men would never even notice that such a thing exists (I mean, they barely notice the food, different methods of chopping vegetables?). This fact in the book just hit me. And made me love the stereotypes even more.

I am not saying the stereotyping was good. Or bad. That is exactly how we are. We are the stereotypes that Chetan Bhagat captures so well. Yet, he says in an interview that this North-South divide does need to be lessened. As he puts it, its good for national integration. Well, I am glad I have done my bit for furthering that goal :)

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How to give the Perfect Party

My mother is a stickler when it comes to giving parties. She is very very particular about this: not only should the food taste perfect, it should look perfect. The way it was presented was just as important, if not more, than the way it tasted. To this day, I follow all her norms when I give a party or invite people over for dinner. It makes me more than anal, but what the heck, the results are beautiful. My dinner table looks good! Here are some tenets that I gleaned and use all the time:

1. All the subzis/dishes should be of different colors: this was one of the most essential rules. This added variety and beauty of its own. Her favorite combination was Chane (dark-brown), baked cauliflower (yellow) and paneer curry (orange) or bhindi (green). She was so insistent on this rule that its deeply ingrained in my head. I always always always follow this. My favorite color combo is rajmah (dark-red), capsicum (green), mushroom-paneer(light-orange).

2. The paper napkins were arranged in a twisting ascending spiral between the plates. The napkins were placed such that one corner peeked out, then the next plate was put on top with its napkin corner starting where the one below ended. It looked beautiful!

3. The spoons were arranged in a pattern: either inverted V or some other design. They were never just kept there.

4. The chutneys had to be 2/3 colors: these were kept in matching bowls in the center. She generally put achaar (orange), ketchup (red) and walnut-garlic chutney (green) (this was my Mom's uber specialty, the tastiest chutney in the world) in the center.

5. Use the teaspoons for dessert- and never mix the tea- and table-spoons. I remember being scolded if I ever did mix them up.

6. The glasses were to be kept upside-down (I don't know why).

7. The table linen had to be perfect too. She has a gorgeous collection of hand-embroidered table mats that we used for such occasions. And the table cloth was either net or hand emboidered applique or some such.

8. The accompaniments had to be even and just so. For example, if we had chopped onion to go with the chane, they had to be finely and evenly chopped. The carrots had to be cleanly grated. The dhaniya was to be cut in even pieces (I can't even imagine what effort that took).

9. The appetizer drink glasses were the small ones, the water glasses were the big ones etc. So make sure everything goes into the right glasses.

You know what, I have not even started talking about the food yet. Even an extra pinch of haldi was not tolerated- after all, that could drastically change the color. Giving a dinner party in my house meant planning down to the perfect last detail. Even the hand-towels in the guest bathroom were matched!

No wonder, my husband goes crazy everytime I have a party at home. Though no matter how hard I try, I can never match the perfection of my mother's parties. Can never cook that well. Or make the chutneys, or chop the onions finely.
But I do get the glasses right. And the linen. And the cutlery and crockery. And the appetizers. And the matching hand-towels!

(Image source: http://www.potterybarn.com/products/sumner-dining-table/?pkey=csquare-rectangular-tables)

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Toe Rings

Do you like toe-rings?

I love wearing them. I think they are really fashionable and stylish.
I got three pairs of really pretty sparkling silver ones with colored gems a few months ago. One has a shimmering opal in the center with small colored gems around it, the second one is a checkerboard of different colored sparkling gemstones and the third is an S-shaped purple something.

It took me a while to get used to wearing them. I still have to remove them when I wear sports shoes or narrow shoes, since they keep cutting my toes. And they are always too loose or too tight! But despite all the inconveniences, I still like to wear them... after all, they look so pretty :)

Of course, toe-rings- as with every Indian ornament- have a deeper meaning. Wearing toe-rings signifies that the woman is married (it is the Indian equivalent of the wedding ring). And is mandatory in some regions of the country. Yes, that's how I started wearing them too. But then, I started liking them for their own beauty, not for their significance. They area a pretty peice of jewellery.

Shouldn't we be wearing jewellery because it makes us happy, rather than because it signifies such-and-such, or because its mandatory?

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The Spark of Difference

What makes a genius? Or even an above-intelligent person?
How does one recognize the SPARK? The Spark that differentiates lowly mortals from the true geniuses?
No, this discussion is not sparked (pun intended) from 3 idiots. Though of course, parallels can be drawn. But I still think that a lot of people who get into the IIT do not necessarily have the spark (having been in one, I know!)
I was actually thinking about this for the last few days, and was wondering what makes a genius. I have seen a lot of people do really well in school, but that is mostly a ton of hard work and diligence. They don't have the spark.

So what is it? How do we define it? How do we find it?
Are we born with it? Or can we grow into it?
Is it a mindset? An Attitude? A brain?

Since I had no answers, I decided to do an observational study. Divide all the people I know into two categories "Spark" and "No Spark". But this turned out to be a reflection of my thoughts, and an extremely subjective process. It was simply, and ONLY, my own perception. Which, I am the first to admit, can be and IS extremely biased.
I still don't know. Grades don't cut it for me- you can be bad in school, and still have the spark. The closest that I can get to is what Rancho says in 3 idiots- that grades ke peechhe mat bhaago, knowledge ke peechhe bhago.

Is that the answer?

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The Nephew Strikes Again

Have I mentioned my idiot nephew (IN) to you? Oh yes I have, he's here and here (in the latter, his Mom is the bhabhi I talk about). That he represents the next generation of India sends shivers down my spine. So here's the latest episode of my nephew's font of wisdom.

I was visiting him this summer, since I was in India. Since he does no work around the house, throws litter and garbage wherever he happens to be at the moment (throwing toffee wrappers on the floor next to the bed, tossing an empty food bag on the dining table etc.), expects his Mom to obey all his shouted commands (she does) and generally behaves like a brat, I was a 'bit' irritated anyway. So when he was about to go and get ready, the following conversation happened:

IN: Mummy, mere kapde nikaal ke rakhna, I am going to have a bath.
(This is a 20 year old guy we are talking about.)
Me: Well, you should do it yourself, why should your Mom take out and keep all your clothes ready?
IN: Kyun, aap Jiju (referring to my husband) ke kapde nahi nikaalti ho kya?
Me: Of course not! He can take care of himself.
IN: And he does not say anything to you ?
Me: No, why should he?
IN: Tabhi aap itne bigade huye ho!

I was beyond speechless. This is wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to start.

On the bright side, he and his Mom have singlehandedly kept this blog alive!!

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How to carry on the family name

I am doing a class project on female foeticide and found this online.

From the website http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/2008

AADHAR, an organisation in India dedicated to campaign against systemic violation of women’s rights, prepared this very disturbing press advertisement revealing the too common practice of female foeticide. The advertisement won a Gold Press Lion at Cannes 2008. In India, every year 1.1 million unborn baby girls die before they are born. Unfortunately the men who insist on these abortions have little idea of what really happens in the theatre.

Read point no. 7 ...

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Explain Caste?

I was doing an assignment on Cultural Diversity with a friend today, and we repeatedly came across the word "caste" in relation to India. So he asked me what the word "Caste" meant since he had never heard it before.

I was flummoxed. How do you explain caste?
How does one condense several hundred years of history into a few pithy sentences? A hundred years of opression and injustice? I tried, of course. And gave him a crash course on the Hindu caste system.

I started with the four castes. How people were classified by birth (though it was hard to explain "untouchables"- he did not get the concept). Schedules castes and tribes. OBC's. How marriages were fixed only within castes. The caste honor system.
Reservations. Mandal Commision. Self-immolation. Supreme court rulings, the creamy layer, admissions in college. Caste Politics, Mayawati, Laloo Prasad Yadav.

He resolved never to ask me the meaning of any word he did not know.

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A woman's ubiquitous Tool

What is the one tool that a woman almost always has? A woman from any country in the world? (and there is no need to get dirty here ;)
Any guesses?

Tweezers/Plucker

This truth dawned on me a few days ago while talking to a friend from Tunisia. We were discussing eyebrow threading and she mentioned that she often uses a plucker. A couple of years ago, another of my friends from China was using a plucker. So do most Americans (though I don't have empirical evidence for this). So do most Indian women.

Image source:
http://www.alconeco.com/products/tools/tweezers_and_twissors/mother_plucker_tweezer

Of course, this raises a lot of questions about how body hair is deemed ugly on women. I don't see men waxing their hair or shaving their legs. Apart from, of course, Shahrukh Khan. I love his waxed clean chest. Lovvvvvvve it!!!!! (I had to emphasize that).

That raises another question... how do you all like your men? Hairy or less hairy?

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Thursday Tag

I am bored and have a lot of homework to do. Since I will do anything to avoid studying, I am going to do a tag that I have been thinking of doing for some time now. Obviously, the only way to make me write on my blog is to threaten me with studies! It is borrowed from my friend here.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
Communication is also affected by the physical environment.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch?
A beautiful pink-orange stole gifted to me by my Mausi.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I have not watched TV since August. The last thing I saw was an Indian soap called "Uttran" in India.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
Around 9:30 PM.

5.Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
It is 9:08 PM

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Another computer.

7.When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
3 days ago, on Tuesday afternoon (its Thursday night now). I went to school.

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?
The front door- to check if it was locked (it was not!)

9.What are you wearing?
A green skirt and a red T-shirt.

10. When did you last laugh?
I really don't remember. Sad, na?

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Nothing at all.

12. Seen anything weird lately?
Well, I got a packet of garlic cloves and they have gone bad and are spouting fungus. That is weird, since I kept them refrigerated all the time.

13. What do you think of this quiz?
Inane. But then, I don't have to study.

14. What is the last film you saw?
"What's your Rashee?"
Saw it last Sunday.

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Two BMW's- the sedan and the SUV and two mansions, one in India and one in the U.S.

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!
Since I don't know who is asking this question, it can't have a valid answer.

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would want Indians to be happy when a girl is born.

18. Do you like to Dance?
Yes. It is what makes me the happiest in the whole world. I forget everything and give myself to it.

19. Imagine your first child is a girl , what do you call her?
Raunak (it is a Punjabi word, impossible to translate)

20. Imagine your first child is a boy , what do you call him?
Advait (meaning "the One")

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
I already do.

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Welcome to my world!

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Ironical Superstitions

I have always been a very superstitious person, taking to heart the million or so do's and dont's that I grew up with. Everything from not going out after sneezing, black cat crossing, chappal chadhna, etc. A lot of them revolved around Saturday.

One of the most basic tenets was NEVER NEVER EVER to buy loha (iron) on a Saturday. This would offend Shani and bring his wrath upon you! It was like a patthar ki lakeer for us. My mom would not even buy as much as a spoon (since steel is derived from iron) that day. And I thought that this was something that most of India followed, since Shani is worshipped all over the country.

Quite recently, I was talking to an Indian friend who was buying a car. On Saturday. Me being the superstitious person that I am, told her that she could not possibly even conceive of buying a car (that's a LOT of iron) on Saturday. And she told me that in her state (in South India) one is supposed to buy on a Saturday. That it is good to do so!

That left me flabbergasted. And made me wonder. The superstitions that I grew up by and would swear by, reverted and inverted. IN THE SAME COUNTRY. It was not somebody from another country who was questioning my beliefs (which maybe I could understand). We had exactly the opposite ideas.

Another such incident happened a month ago. I moved into a apartment, and my in-laws told me to boil milk- and let it boil over- as a good omen in the new house. This was so that there is always "plenty" in the house. Now, in North India, milk boiling over is considered a very bad omen (witness the number of Hindi films with mothers-in-law screaming Apshagun, Hai Raaam if the hapless overburdened daughter-in-law was doing something else and the milk boiled over). Again, the same event reinterpreted from top to bottom!

So what did it mean, if anything? Did this not just show that all our superstitions are just that? If people in the same country can have diametrically different perpectives on the same thing, then it really does go to show that maybe we should question these beliefs.

Meanwhile, I'm still keeping my chappals straight and not buying iron on Saturday!

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